Barbarella's Buck'n Can-can arrz
Shiver me timbers ~ Booty tales begins In the year 2077 things were tough all over. The world seemed to ballace on the head of a pin, tethering at the edge of oblivion. Still even there at the brink of darkness, there were artists who saught to brighten the world by the light of the movie's silver screen. Millionaire, playboy and men's magazine Editor in chief, Hef Gadsby, also counted himself among those noble aficionados of the cinema, and while he had produced and directed a profitable and generally well distributed series of pirate jahnrah fillms, all loosely themed after the hugely popular amusement park ride, Buccaneers of the Barbary Coast, the "Entertainment" Commission to the House Un-American Activities investigation Committee disaproved of Gadsby and his productions, with their content's ever increasing flirtation with what the Commision deemed as a bluring of the line between the PG 13 and soft R ratings. {C In truth the most lusty things about Hef Gadsby's productions were the exploitive movie posters designed to draw hormonal teens to the theaters and the questionable underground tabloid speculations about "adventures" on the Great Hef Gadsby's famous casting couch. Even most of these reports were actually belived by Hollwood insiders to have been booth exaggerated and possibly leaked to the press by agents working on Hef's own behalf to boost the image of his legendary Man about town Machismo Mojo. Jan 3rd 2077 The WAR movie begins Hung over from New Year's Eve, the Great Hef Gadsby was in no mood for business let alone bad news. So when the anonymous messenger dropped a plain brown envelope through the mail slot of his penthouse's adjacent office suite, the lite packet hit the hardwood floor with what sounded to Hef to be a thunder clap of doom. It was no more than a sigle page letter, yet the weight of it's words would echoe long after the bombs laid waste to the mainland. This notification was sent to refuse Hef Gadsby a licence to film his next picture in the continental commonwealths of the USA. The Entertainment Commission to the House Un-American Activities investigation Committee called his productions, debase to propper American values. Vulgar, Crude and Wholly Obsine. Well to say the least, the Great Hef Gadsby took these harsh words to heart as an act of war and war.. *War never changes... Hef Gadsby used his vast fortune to rush construction that would expand his already modest collection of replica Spanish Galleons in to a small flotilla compleat with ship masters knowledgeable enough to train a full cast of actresses and extras in the art of sailing tall masted ships. Meanwhile Hef sent his agents out to scout for new talent. He knew reading lines was a skill that could be coached or in extreem cases redubed in post production. Gadsby's talent scouts had a focused mission. They wanted ladies that were young, athletic, flexible, seductivley beautiful and willing to perform in suggestive, even risque costumes. in a word, Hef Gadsby wanted strippers''.. Hef said "Four score and seven or eight would turn the trick !" With logistics in motion, Hef Gadsby set about rewriting the screen play that the Commission had essentially banned. The Commission to the House Un-American Activities investigation Committee thought they knew what was improper.. Hef would challenge their world perception of Vulgar, Crude and Wholly Obsine on an epic scale! The Great Hef Gadsby risked everything, his wealth and his very freedom in defiance of those who would regulate his liberty and the persuit of happiness. This would be the Great Hef Gadsby's Masterpiece adventure more worthy than all the hype his men's magazine and movie exploits had ever built up. June 18th 2077 The stage is set Six months in to pre production and Gadsby's private docks nearly burst with the activity, from the construction ship yards the final bits of block, tackle, hoist and rope were secured as the ships bronze fittings and oak railings were polished to a warm glow in the summer sunshine. Like wise the cast of tantalizing ladies had also began to demonstrate more than a small amount of polish to their newly acquired and revised skills. Those ""dancers" turned actresses, under the ship master's guidance embraced their roles with historical accuracy. All of course for good reason, Hef Gadsby spared no expense and those ladies worked hard for the money. From bilge to mizzen crows nest, port through starboard and stim to stern, they had learned the ancient sailor's craft as well as the more pirating arts for the big screen. Sword play and tumbling had became their new exotic expression. Brawling with pistol butts and chairs as improvised weapons became their table dance, and where once they hung from poles for a dollar, Gadsby's big bucks had them contorting new skills. Hef's ladies had soon learned to swing from sails and leap ship to ship on ropes without a net. Yes indeed the stage was set for something more epic than the silver screen. ALWAYS LEAVE THEM WANTING MORE For months the production staff and services crew reported figures with dark sunglasses, trench coats and face shadowing hats lurking at docks perimeter and yet when ever an attempt was made to approached these mysterious figures, they reportedly melted into the gathered throng of media press and gawking fans. Still Hef never worried, he fully expected the Entertainment Commission to the House Un-American Activities investigation Committee to watch his every move. In fact the Great Hef Gadsby wanted them to watch as he flaunted their regulations. Heff knew there was nothing they could do. * The Entertainment Commission's licensing denial was all to Legal in it exacting terms.. Heff's crews never again filmed a fame of footage or single still shot on any soil belonging to the "continental commonwealths of the USA." No matter how many government spies were sent, there was nothing to be found. Since the day one of pre production not even so much as a flash bulb or Instamatic camera had been allowed beyond the perimeter. * As a media mogul him self, Heff Gadsby knew the power of the American press and he played the rag mag tabloid fans with the oldest magic trick, '''"ALWAYS LEAVE THEM WANTING MORE". Even with the government hounding his every move, the Notoriously out spoken, over the top self promoter played it all soo close to the vest that the media could not resist offering thousands of dollars for the fuzziest pictures any one of Heff's new and mysterious starlets in costume.. All the news was a'buzz with The Great Heff Gadsby's mysterious project.. Only the extensive editorial pages of Heff Gadsby's own Gentlemen's magazines remained silent in the media frenzy. * Who where these unknown starlets? * Why was there no film trailers? Surely this was too massive of a production for a stage show.. * WHY WAS HEFF GADSBY NOT BLOWING HIS OWN HORN !?! Heff Gadsby's fortune was taxed for the loyalty of silence it took to keep his secret, but for Heff THIS WAS WAR! *War never changes.. Command and control at near any cost. ''Liberty sets sail 'The 4th of July 2077' The Great Hef Gadsby stood proudly, way out in front, thumbing his nose at those he saw as petty old men that were afraid of their own wives and the wee shadow of their even more pathetic fear shrunken erections. * The ship yards boarder tape was officially cut beneath a torrent of ticker tape streamers, confetti and fire works. The world press, whore mongering tabloid leeches, muck raking Hollywood critics and a great many Anti American Activity Commission camera sporting spys, finally, were allowed to flood Heff's docks. The shapely cast all draped in their most seductive pirate costumes swung from ship to ship, high above the mob of flash bulb popping paparazzi. Then above the sound of the cheering crowd and the blaring US national anthem Hef's voice could be heard to command, "HOIST THE COLORS AND MAKE WAY FOR LIBERTY !!" As right on cue the 24 replica Spanish galleons unfurled their stylized pirate flags and Hef himself was yanked skyward on near invisible stage cables like Peter Pan flying to the highest yardarm of his flagship "Liberty" and with that the Great Hef Gadsby's flotilla cast off all mooring lines and set sail for international waters where the Anti American Activity Commission held no sway. Next up on the center stage ~ Everybody give it up for 2282 'Gallery' '''Click on the pic for best view' !'' B1.jpg B2.png B3.jpg B4.jpg B5.jpg B6.jpg B7.jpg B8.jpg HefGadsby.jpg|The Great Hef Gadsby Colors.jpg|Gadsby's Flagship colors Created by SaintPain→ '''That was broke afore I got here.. Again' 02:17, October 23, 2011 (UTC) Category:Factions Category:Novels